One woman's harrowing account of being stalked for almost a decade

Zeni Gibson has been stalked and harassed for nearly nine years by a man she rejected when she was 17. This is her story.

Mōrena, and welcome to The Bulletin for Monday, November 25.

Compiled by Alice Neville and Anna Rawhiti-Connell

In today’s edition: It’s been one year since National, Act and NZ First formed a government; deal on climate finance struck at Cop29; renewed calls for sugar tax; But first, a Wellington woman shares her harrowing account of being stalked and harassed for almost a decade.

‘I need to make you suffer’

The latest in our Cover Story series is a gut-wrenching first-person account of stalking, as told to The Spinoff’s senior editor Madeleine Holden. Zeni Gibson’s story is not an easy read, but I urge you to read it in full to comprehend the impact that stalking and harassment – and officials’ often inadequate responses – can have on victims’ lives. 

Holden, who has lived and breathed this topic since Gibson first contacted The Spinoff in August 2023 to tentatively inquire about sharing her story, has written a complementary piece to the Cover Story that sets out what she has learned during the process. “One of the biggest difficulties is that telling these stories – especially in the as-told-to, first-person style – requires that victims relive some of the worst moments of their lives, over and over again,” she writes. 

Around one in five women estimated to have experienced stalking in their lifetime

Gibson’s story is extreme, writes Holden, but it isn’t rare. While pinning down exact numbers is difficult, for reasons outlined in the piece, stalking is common: around one in five women are estimated to experience it in their lifetime. Stalking is a known precursor to physical violence, with nearly two-thirds of Women’s Refuge’s clients stalked.

A tragic example of this is the 2022 murder of Auckland student Farzana Yaqubi, who was fatally stabbed by a man she had rejected and whose stalking and harassment she’d complained to police about multiple times.

The new stalking law

This murder, and the litany of police failures that allowed it to happen, played a part in the campaigning that led to the government agreeing to introduce legislation to make stalking a standalone offence, along with four other stalking-related amendments. Broad details of that legislation, set to be introduced to parliament by the end of the year, were announced earlier this month, and Madeleine Holden wrote a useful explainer on it.

Below is the introduction to the Cover Story. It contains graphic descriptions of threatened violence, including sexual violence, so please take care.

I first met Greg in September 2015 when I was 16 years old, working at the Aro Valley School Holiday Programme in central Wellington, close to where I was living at my mum’s house by Aro Park. I was an outgoing and social teen, spending my time hanging out with my best friends, playing social volleyball and football, attending piano lessons, and working ridiculously hard at school to get good NCEA grades. I was studious, fun, silly, and well-liked by my peers. 

Greg was 25 when I met him and dating my boss, a woman around his age I’ll call Rebecca. When I was working on the school holiday programmes or if I saw Greg hanging out at Aro Park, I would smile and make small talk with him in passing. Given he was dating my boss, I felt I owed it to her to be friendly to Greg, but our interactions were always surface-level: polite smiles, “hi” and “bye”, maybe the odd “how are you?” – but nothing more than that. 

One rainy evening after work in January 2016, my mum offered Rebecca, her five-year-old daughter and Greg a lift home from the holiday programme, given the terrible weather. On the drive home, Greg and I sat in the back seat with Rebecca’s daughter between us. As we drove, I absentmindedly drew hearts in the window’s condensation with my index finger, daydreaming about my high school crush. I was 17 years old.

It was a teenage-girl moment of such little significance I should never have thought about it again. It’s ended up being the moment in my life that’s haunted me the most.

Listen to the audio recording of this story

The world is shifting fast. We shift with it.

Sitting at the intersection of media, technology and content, we help brands and organisations meet audiences where they are. We are specialists in delivering behaviour-changing campaigns, intuitive digital products and content that cuts through the noise. If your brand, organisation, start-up, or government agency wants to create work that delivers an impact, let’s chat. Get in touch.

One year on

Yesterday marked a year since the announcement that a coalition deal between National, Act and NZ First had been done. There was a round of anniversary coverage a year on from election night and this anniversary delivers more reflection and assessment. Speaking to the Herald’s Adam Pearse (paywalled), prime minister Christopher Luxon believes his government has defied critics who were sceptical about a three-party coalition government. Luxon also reveals he has a more social relationship with current deputy prime minister Winston Peters, with dinner catch-ups with their partners, while with deputy PM in waiting, Act leader David Seymour, there’s a greater focus on the “policy side of things”.

More:

• Protests and economic criticism cloud Coalition’s first anniversary as pressure mounts for it to deliver on campaign promises — interest.co.nz’s Dan Brunskill

• “I look back, and I wouldn't change too many of the big rocks.” No regrets: PM on his first year in office — The Post’s Luke Malpass:

• How New Zealand economy has changed a year into the government — The Post’s Tom Pullar-Strecker

• On Luxon considering whether he would renegotiate any parts of the coalition agreement if he could turn back time: “I don't think there's any value in that sort of exercise.” — RNZ’s Craig McCulloch

New funding target agreed at Cop29

Two days past the deadline and after two weeks of negotiation, this year's UN climate summit in Baku, Cop 29, delivered a deal on climate finance. The deal, which promises $300 billion (USD) a year by 2035 from developed countries to help fund efforts in developing nations to move away from using fossil fuels, has been decried as far too low by developing nations.

As RNZ reports, New Zealand’s “government may be faced with a hefty bill to up its contribution to international climate change efforts,” following the setting of the new climate finance target.

Newsroom’s Marc Daalder continues his reporting from Cop29 in Baku, writing:

“Baku did show countries can still get together and do the painful work of compromise and negotiation. From the nadir on Saturday afternoon, when talks looked to be on the verge of collapse, to the historic success mere hours later, Cop29 proved diplomacy can still achieve results.”

Join The Spinoff Members

“I value the Spinoff analysis, in-depth coverage and sheer fun even more this year” - Jacqueline, Spinoff member

If you value our work and want to support us, please consider becoming a member today. Already a member? Thank you!

The apology and the hīkoi

Last week, staff writer Lyric Waiwiri-Smith attended the Auckland event of the national apology to survivors of abuse in care. That historic event was quickly followed by another, with the nine-day hīkoi arriving in parliament to protest a number of government decisions, particularly the Treaty Principles bill. Lyric and Ātea editor Liam Rātana reported on the hīkoi as it passed through Auckland. Lyric and Liam join editor Madeleine Chapman on the latest episode of Behind the Story to discuss the apology, the hīkoi, and the challenge of separating work and life when your work involves reporting on your own lived experiences.

Click and Collect

• A new report from the Helen Clark Foundation finds a third of NZ adults are obese and policies focused on individual responsibility are failing

• Police admit security breach after Christopher Luxon’s schedule left in full view on patrol car dashboard

• In the final part of an RNZ’s investigative series into Oranga Tamariki, Anusha Bradley asks what it will take to fix our child protection agency

• New Zealand's National Emergency Response Agency is preparing for power and communications outages in the event of an extreme solar storm

• Departing All Blacks veteran TJ Perenara showed support for last week’s hīkoi and the Treaty when leading the haka against Italy. David Seymour responds, saying he hopes he’s read the bill.

The Spinoff Live in Auckland: The Year in Review is on sale now

After a sold-out event in Wellington, Anna Rawhiti-Connell will take a running jump backward into the year’s biggest headlines, political dramas and Spinoff yarns in Auckland at Q Theatre on December 11. Anna will be joined onstage by special guests, rose-tinted glasses and Christmas cheer.

Right now on The Spinoff

Wellington editor Joel MacManus pitches his big idea to save the capital. Hera Lindsay Bird conducts a sociocultural investigation into whether poets can drive. Veteran reviewer Diana Wichtel takes us through her life in television. Claire Mabey breaks down selections from Slender Volumes by Richard von Sturmer to analyse what they’re really trying to tell us. Psychedelic folk singer Arthur Ahbez shares his perfect weekend playlist.

That’s it for today. Thanks for reading.

Want to get in touch? Join the conversation in the Substack comments section below or via email at thebulletin@thespinoff.co.nz if you have any feedback on today’s top stories (or anything else in the news).

If you liked what you read today, share The Bulletin with friends, family and colleagues.